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Grumpy Old Me

This page has various musings that just go to show that I'm getting older and far less tolerant.
Some are just my own comments on life's little annoyances, others I have heard
from different sources, but can relate to.  If you are any age, I'm
sure you will be able to relate to some, if not all.

I hope this page gives you a laugh, and is meant as a little light hearted diversion.


Go on....  Get It Off Your Chest!

Driving...

  • I wish they would start making cars with working indicators again, or is there a country wide epidemic of arthritis in the fingers of drivers these days?
  • Was it really worth the extra stress just to end up two car lengths in front?  ("Wow! I've reached that red traffic light at least 2 micro seconds before that old sod behind me").
  • When it's hot why do motorists have to drive with various parts of their body hanging out of the window?  Apart from being very distracting to others and therefore dangerous, I'm sure it must be illegal!
  • Are "tacky" flags or other things waving in the breeze from the windows of vehicles compulsory now?  I cannot find it in the highway code!
  • Why do people stand right by a zebra crossing and just chat?  Why not just move away from the edge of the pavement so that it's obvious they do not want to cross?
  • Why do people insist on staying in the middle lane when there is nothing in sight in the inside lane?
  • Why must people have their fog lights on when it isn't foggy?  It's stupid, dangerous because they dazzle and illegal! 
  • Does anyone have a copy of the taxi drivers highway code?  It's obviously quite different to mine.
  • The same goes for cyclists.  No red lights in their highway code.  Allowed to ride on the pavement, and the walkman is a must!
  • Using a mobile phone whilst driving is against the law, and so why do so many people do it - and get away with it?  This brings me to the next question.
  • Why do you always see policemen when there is nothing illegal happening, but never when there is?
  • Pavements are for people.  Roads are for cars.  Get your car off the pavement and stop being so selfish.  Park it somewhere else and walk if necessary - you've got legs haven't you?  I have never parked on the pavement after driving since 1970 - if I can do it, then so can you!

 

 

The Mind Is Going, And Annoyances Around The Home...

  • Why can I never remember what I came up stairs for, but always remember as soon as I get back down?
  • I bought the apples as "Braeburns"!  Why do I need a stupid label on every one?
  • Why are my glasses never where I left them?
  • Why do I always pick up the wrong remote control?
  • Why do we have so many remote controls?  I'm sure they breed overnight!
  • I can rarely remember the date, or a person's name these days, even if I've known them for years.
  • The writing on labels is so small these days.
  • How can I get something I've left in the car if the keys are still in doors?
  • The meat inside the vacuum pack is almost totally destroyed by the time you get into it.  These "Easy Open" packs are easy - using a nuclear bomb!  In the unlikely event that you do manage to open it by hand, the contents then end up on the floor, on the worktop or in the open butter or spread.
  • Why are these malted loaves so difficult to cut?  Even if the knife is sharpened especially for the task, the loaf ends up completely flattened.

 

 

Things In General...

  • How do youngsters keep those baggy jeans up?
  • Spitting in the street isn't compulsory you know!  Go on, have a mind of your own and refuse to be just one of the crowd!
  • Why are young people so arrogant these days?  No, the world does not owe you anything, you have to earn it all, like we did!
  • Is it really so hard to put that sweet paper in your pocket until you find a waste bin?
  • Should I install an air bag for when my computer crashes - again?
  • Why do I need to click on "Start" to turn the computer off?
  • Whenever I look, someone has added yet another lead to the 14 million that are already hanging out the back of my computer.
  • Does my head have to shine so, just because I'm losing my hair?
  • I love putting weight on, but hate taking it off again!
  • Why is it that you work for forty odd years with little trouble, and then when you retire, your body falls apart?  Is there no justice?
  • Surely our baby is far too young to be married!
  • We need to get to bed earlier these days! Half the night is over by the time we finish preparations... Tablet for cramp, Lip balm to stop the lips cracking (remember to kiss your other half goodnight first, or you end up sliding all over the place), Hand cream to prevent the finger joints cracking and bleeding, Heated wheat bag for the stiff neck, Is the alarm on? Did I turn the heating down?  Did you lock the back door Dear?  You finally settle down and then realise you have left your glasses on.  I'm sure life never used to be this complicated!
  • I think my wife spends the time I'm at work memorising where everything is in the home.  She can always find something that I am convinced isn't there!

(Just a light hearted aside, which I hope you enjoyed)